It can be hard for us to ask for help. After all, we may have been resilient all of our lives. But then we became chronically ill and our life changed in what seemed like a heartbeat.
It’s understandable that we don’t want things to change. However, when we become chronically ill, things must change. Without delegating and asking for help, we will become increasingly frustrated, stressed, tired, and possibly unable to sleep because of our pain.
Therefore, it is essential for us to take stock of all the things we have to do and perhaps decide what we can do, given the time and energy constraints that we feel, and the things that we can’t do.
Once we decide what we can and can’t do, it is important for you to look for people who would be willing to help you. The good news is that most people would be happy to help us. But are we open and humble enough to ask for help?
If not, we should become mindful of the fact that it’s in our best interest to ask for help. We should be self-compassionate with ourselves and find ways to show such mercy towards ourselves by asking for help.
Start with your family members and friends. Many of these people see how in pain you are on a daily basis. They may have even said Let me help you with this. And you probably said oh no, I’m fine.
Believe me I know this sequence of thinking very well. I actually live it. And I can stubbornly want to keep going when I clearly shouldn’t be.
What I had to do is realize that I can’t do it all. Once I realized how little energy I have and that the most loving thing to do is to ask for help, I started asking for help. It’s not that I liked it. I still don’t. But I have now come to realize that this is the most loving thing I can do for myself.
Try it!
Irene Roth
Living With Chronic Illness 