Living With Chronic Illness

Chronically ill individuals are plagued by pain a lot of the time. This can make their life an uphill battle. But what if instead of always stressing over our pain and fatigue, we just took our lives one moment at a time, and one breath at a time?

There’s no doubt, living with pain and fatigue can be very hard. There are the sleepless nights and a lot of daily trials. But there are the moments between these difficult times that we can still become aware of by focusing on this very moment, uninterrupted by all the busyness of our mind.

When I was first diagnosed with my arthritis and fibromyalgia, I was convinced that I was in pain all the time. But after a while, I realized that this was another story I was telling myself that wasn’t founded in fact.

More precisely, I discovered that I had a lot of moments and times even on the worse days when I wasn’t in pain. I wasn’t ready to do a tango or ballroom dance or go for a long walk around the Avon River, but I was able to just focus on my breath and all was okay.

Can you zero in on those moments in your life. Here are a few ways to focus on this moment.

Practice gentle movement:

Engage in activities like yoga, tai chi, or stretching exercises. These low-impact movements can help you stay connected to your body and the present moment while improving flexibility and reducing stress.

Use grounding techniques:

When you feel overwhelmed or disconnected, try grounding exercises. Focus on your senses, such as feeling the texture of an object, listening to calming sounds, or noticing the taste of a favorite food.

Keep a gratitude journal:

Write down three things you are grateful for each day. This practice can shift your focus to the positive aspects of your life and help you appreciate the present moment.

Limit screen time:

Reduce the time spent on screens, including phones, computers, and television. Constant exposure to digital devices can be draining and distracting.

Engage in creative activities:

Express yourself through art, writing, or other creative endeavors. Creativity can provide an outlet for emotions and help you stay centered in the present moment.

Set boundaries:

Learn to say no to activities or commitments that drain your energy and focus on what truly matters to you.

Use mindfulness reminders:

Place small objects or stickers in your environment as mindfulness triggers. When you notice them, take a moment to pause, breathe, and be present.

Practice self-care:

Prioritize self-care activities like taking warm baths, reading, or spending time with loved ones. These moments of self-nurturing can help you focus on the present and boost your overall well-being.

Focus on your breath:

Whenever you feel stressed or anxious, take a few deep breaths. Pay attention to the sensations of your breath to ground yourself in the present moment.

Engage your senses:

Be intentional about experiencing your surroundings through your senses. Notice the colors, textures, smells, and sounds around you to stay connected to the present.

Learn to let go:

Accept that some things are beyond your control and learn to let go of unnecessary worries or regrets. Focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Celebrate small achievements:

Acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest victories. Recognizing your progress can boost your motivation and encourage you to stay present in the pursuit of your goals.

Remember, focusing on one moment at a time is a skill that takes practice and patience. Be gentle with yourself and take small steps to cultivate mindfulness and presence in your daily life.

The more you nurture this skill, the more it will contribute to your overall well-being and improve the quality of your life as a chronically ill individual.

Irene Roth

Living with chronic illness brings forth many challenges. They may range from physical pain and fatigue to emotional distress and uncertainty about the future. In the face of such adversities, finding effective coping strategies becomes crucial.

One powerful tool that has shown significant benefits for us who live with chronic conditions is journaling or writing. Engaging in this introspective practice offers a unique outlet to express emotions, reflect on experiences, and cultivate a positive outlook on life despite the challenges of pain and fatigue.

In this blog, I will explore how chronically ill individuals can use journaling as a therapeutic tool to cope with their condition and enhance their overall well-being.

Here are six ways that journaling or writing can help the chronically ill person live better quality lives.

First, journaling can help us express our emotions and vent our frustrations. Chronic illness often brings with it an array of emotions, ranging from frustration and sadness to anger and fear. Journaling allows us to safely express these emotions, unburdening their minds from the weight of their struggles. By writing down their feelings, patients can acknowledge and validate their experiences, reducing the sense of isolation that often accompanies chronic illness.

Second, journaling can help us keep track of our symptoms and patterns of behavior. Keeping a journal can serve as a valuable tool for tracking symptoms and patterns related to their condition. Recording the frequency and severity of pain, fatigue, and other symptoms allows patients to identify triggers and potential patterns, aiding them in better understanding their illness. Armed with this knowledge, they can make informed decisions about lifestyle changes, medication adjustments, or other treatments in consultation with their healthcare providers.

Third, journaling can help us find strength and courage. The act of journaling chronicles one’s journey through illness, offering a tangible representation of their resilience and strength. Looking back at past entries, patients can observe their progress, triumphs, and the moments they have conquered their pain and fatigue. This reflection can instill a sense of pride and inspire them to keep pushing forward in their healing journey.

Fourth, journaling can help to foster self-discovery and growth. Journaling provides a safe space for self-discovery and introspection. As we write about their experiences of living with a chronic condition, we gain insights into their thoughts, beliefs, and coping mechanisms. Through this process, they can identify patterns of thinking or behavior that may be hindering their ability to cope effectively. Armed with this awareness, they can work towards cultivating healthier coping strategies and personal growth.

Fifth, journaling can help us cultivate a grateful and positive mindset. Amidst the challenges of chronic illness, it is essential to focus on the positive aspects of life. Journaling offers a means to cultivate gratitude by jotting down moments of joy, acts of kindness, or things to be thankful for, no matter how small they may seem. Practicing gratitude can foster a positive mindset, leading to improved mental well-being and better coping with pain and fatigue.

Sixth, journaling can help us reduce stress and anxiety. Writing can be a therapeutic process that reduces stress and anxiety levels. By transferring thoughts and worries from the mind onto paper, we can free up mental space and experience a sense of relief. This release of emotional tension can contribute to a more relaxed and calm state, which can positively affect their overall well-being.

Journaling or writing can be a powerful coping mechanism for those living with chronic illness. Through the act of journaling, we can express emotions, track symptoms, find strength, foster self-discovery, cultivate gratitude, and create a supportive community.

This therapeutic practice offers numerous benefits for managing pain and fatigue and enhancing overall well-being, providing a valuable tool for those navigating the challenges of chronic illness. Whether through a pen and paper or digital platform, embracing the healing power of journaling can empower the chronically ill to find hope, resilience, and peace in their journey toward a better quality of life.

There’s something grounding about journaling and writing. It helps us come to terms with what we’re going through, and after a while, it can become an unconditionally caring friend that we can rely on to pour out all our negative emotions.

If you haven’t tried journaling, please try it. You never know what a blessing it can be until you try.

To your best life!

Irene Roth

Living with a chronic illness can be challenging and overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to define your life. With the right mindset and strategies, it is possible to thrive and find purpose even in the face of health challenges.

There’s no doubt that it’s hard to live with a chronic illness or two. Life always feels like an uphill battle. I get it!  I live that reality too, every day and every moment.

However, I can come to realize that mindset really matters. For instance, if I am gloomy and always focusing on the negative aspects of my day and life, I feel worse and I experience more pain.

Further, if I think that my life is over because there is so much I can’t do, then what I think repeatedly can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, if I think things will get worse and I will feel worse, it will probably happen.

It did for me for a while. Then one day I realized that from the moment I open my eyes until I close my eyes for the night, I was telling myself negative things. And yes, I felt worse. So, my big revelation occurred when I realized that it doesn’t have to be like that. I can focus on more positive things even on the worse days.

I started meditating regularly and living a more mindful life. I started journalling regularly and taking deep breaths a few times a day, especially when stressed. And guess what? I started feeling more positive, and I had a better quality of life.

Here are some valuable tried-and-true tips that I have learned over the twenty plus years about how to embrace purpose and live a fulfilling life, despite your chronic illness.

1. Acceptance and Self-Compassion

The first step in thriving with chronic illness is accepting your condition and being kind to yourself. Understand that it’s normal to feel frustrated, sad, or even angry about your situation. Allow yourself to grieve the life you had before the illness and be compassionate towards yourself during difficult times. Embrace self-acceptance and focus on what you can control rather than dwelling on what you can’t.

2. Define Your Purpose

Living with purpose gives life meaning and direction. Take time to reflect on what truly matters to you and what brings you joy. Your purpose could be as simple as being there for your loved ones, pursuing a hobby, or making a positive impact on others. Let your passions guide you and don’t be afraid to adapt to your purpose as your life evolves.

3. Set Realistic Goals

With chronic illness, it’s essential to set achievable goals. Break down your larger objectives into smaller, manageable tasks. Celebrate each accomplishment, no matter how small, as it will build momentum and boost your confidence. Be flexible with your goals and adjust them as needed to accommodate your health fluctuations.

4. Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally is crucial for thriving with a chronic illness. This includes maintaining a balanced diet, getting enough rest, engaging in regular exercise, and managing stress. Listen to your body and give it the care and attention it needs to function optimally.

5. Seek Support

Surround yourself with a strong support network of family, friends, or support groups who understand your challenges. Talking to others who share similar experiences who lift you up can be empowering and help you gain valuable insights into coping strategies.

6. Be Adaptable

Living with a chronic illness often requires adapting to new circumstances and finding innovative solutions. Embrace the changes in your life and look for opportunities to learn and grow from them. Be open to trying new treatments, therapies, or lifestyle adjustments that could improve your quality of life.

7. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the small joys in life. Engaging in meditation or mindful activities can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression while fostering a sense of gratitude and resilience.

8. Find Meaning in Challenges

Chronic illness can be an unexpected teacher. Instead of seeing it as a roadblock, view it as an opportunity for personal growth. Consider how your experiences can help others going through similar challenges or how they can give you a unique perspective on life.

9. Be Creative

Engaging in creative activities can be therapeutic and provide a sense of purpose. Whether it’s painting, writing, gardening, or any other creative outlet, it can offer a way to express your emotions and connect with your inner self.

10. Seek Professional Help

Therapy or counseling can be beneficial for individuals dealing with chronic illness. A trained professional can help you navigate the emotional aspects of living with a chronic condition and provide tools to cope with the challenges.

Therefore, living with chronic illness can undoubtedly be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be devoid of purpose and fulfillment. Embrace your journey, focus on what brings you joy, and surround yourself with a supportive community. Remember, your chronic illness is just one aspect of your life. With the right mindset and strategies, you can thrive and live a life filled with purpose and meaning. It is well worth the effort to try.

May you be well and live with purpose!

Irene Roth

Living with a chronic illness is a journey filled with unique challenges, both physical and emotional. One often overlooked yet crucial aspect of managing chronic illnesses is the establishment of boundaries.

Boundaries serve as protective shields that help you navigate the complexities of your chronic conditions while maintaining your physical and mental well-being.

Here are a few reasons why creating and maintaining boundaries is so important for a chronically ill individual.

Maintain Physical Health

Chronic illnesses often require careful management of energy levels, medications, and treatments. Developing boundaries can significantly contribute to maintaining physical health by preventing overexertion and burnout.

Setting limits on physical activities and tasks helps avoid pushing beyond one’s capabilities, reducing the risk of exacerbating symptoms or causing setbacks in the healing process.

By recognizing personal limits and establishing clear boundaries, you can allocate your energy more effectively, ensuring that you have the strength to manage your condition and engage in activities that bring you joy.

Preserve Emotional Well-being

The emotional toll of chronic illness can be overwhelming. Developing emotional boundaries is vital for protecting mental health. Dealing with medical uncertainties, lifestyle adjustments, and potential limitations can lead to anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation.

By setting boundaries on conversations and interactions related to your condition, you can create safe spaces where you can focus on positivity and personal growth. This separation from the constant reminder of your illness fosters emotional resilience and empowers you to pursue fulfilling experiences beyond your health challenges.

Empower You

Establishing boundaries cultivates a sense of empowerment and self-advocacy in individuals with chronic illnesses. Communicating your needs and limitations to friends, family, and healthcare providers allows them to actively participate in your treatment plans.

When you assert your boundaries, you contribute to decisions that align with your preferences and comfort levels. This empowerment not only enhances your overall well-being but also transforms you into an active partner in your healthcare journey.

Foster Supportive Relationships

Boundaries play a pivotal role in shaping relationships for the chronically ill. Expressing your boundaries to loved ones helps prevent misunderstandings and cultivates understanding and empathy.

Friends and family members who understand the importance of respecting these boundaries provide invaluable emotional support.

Further, by setting limits on social commitments and engagements, you can prioritize quality interactions over quantity, ensuring that your relationships remain nurturing and fulfilling.

Prevent Social Isolation

The unpredictability of chronic illnesses can lead to social isolation as you may withdraw due to fear of exacerbating your symptoms in social settings. By establishing clear social boundaries, you can create a balance between participating in social activities and taking necessary breaks to rest and recover.

These boundaries can enable you to stay connected with your social circles while also tending to your health needs. This balance contributes to your overall sense of belonging and prevents the adverse effects of isolation on mental health.

Enhance Quality of Life

Ultimately, the development of boundaries in the lives of those with chronic illnesses leads to a significant enhancement in your overall quality of life.

These boundaries enable you to manage your condition effectively, allocate energy wisely, nurture supportive relationships, and prioritize self-care. By consciously choosing where to invest your physical and emotional resources, you can engage in activities that bring you joy, personal growth, and a sense of accomplishment.

When you’re trying to manage your chronic illness, the establishment of boundaries is a fundamental pillar of self-care and holistic well-being.

These boundaries contribute to the preservation of physical health, the protection of emotional well-being, the fostering of supportive relationships, and the empowerment to actively participate in your healthcare journey.

By recognizing the value of boundaries and integrating them into your life, the chronically ill can navigate your challenges with resilience, strength, and an improved quality of life.

Irene S. Roth

Living with a chronic illness, regardless of which one we struggle with, is a daily challenge that demands resilience, patience, and a unique form of self-care.

As medical advancements continue to enhance our understanding of various conditions, the role of self-care has emerged as a vital component in managing chronic illnesses. It’s a self-management tool that you definitely need in your repertoire.

This blog delves into the reasons why self-care is essential for individuals grappling with chronic health issues and explores the holistic benefits it offers. Here are a few to consider.

First, chronic illnesses often disrupt one’s sense of control over their own body and life. Embracing self-care empowers individuals to regain some semblance of control. By actively participating in their treatment regimen, making informed decisions, and adopting healthy habits, they can steer their health journey in a direction that aligns with their personal goals and values. This sense of empowerment enhances their mental well-being, fostering a more positive outlook on their condition.

Second, self-care encompasses a range of practices that prioritize physical health. This includes adhering to medication schedules, managing symptoms through appropriate exercises, and maintaining a balanced diet. Engaging in physical self-care can lead to reduced pain, increased energy levels, and enhanced overall physical functioning. Regular exercise, tailored to the individual’s abilities, has been shown to alleviate symptoms and promote cardiovascular health, which is particularly important for those with chronic conditions.

Third, the emotional toll of living with a chronic illness can be immense. Self-care provides a sanctuary for emotional healing. Engaging in activities that bring joy, practicing mindfulness, and seeking therapy can significantly alleviate anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation. Emotional well-being is intrinsically linked to physical health; managing stress and fostering a positive emotional state can positively influence the immune system and overall bodily function.

Fourth, chronic illnesses often necessitate ongoing medical appointments, treatments, and lifestyle adjustments. Without adequate self-care, the relentless demands of managing a chronic condition can lead to burnout. Taking time to rest, relax, and engage in activities unrelated to health can prevent emotional exhaustion. Establishing boundaries and recognizing the need for breaks are crucial in preventing burnout and maintaining a sustainable approach to managing the illness.

Fifth, isolation is a common challenge faced by the chronically ill due to limitations on physical activities and energy levels. Engaging in self-care activities, whether through support groups or hobbies, offers opportunities for social interaction and connection. These interactions provide a sense of belonging and support, which are integral to maintaining mental and emotional well-being.

Sixth, self-care is not limited to medical interventions; it extends to nurturing the mind, body, and spirit. Engaging in creative outlets, spending time in nature, and practicing relaxation techniques all contribute to a holistic approach to healing. This approach acknowledges that health is not solely about curing the physical symptoms but also about achieving balance in all aspects of life.

Seventh, living with a chronic illness cultivates empathy and understanding, not only for oneself but also for others facing similar challenges. Engaging in self-care activities helps individuals better appreciate the importance of caring for their own well-being, allowing them to share their experiences and insights with peers. This, in turn, fosters a sense of community and support among individuals who can learn from each other’s self-care practices.

For those grappling with chronic illnesses, self-care is not just a luxury; it’s a necessity. This multifaceted approach to well-being empowers individuals to take control of their health, improve their physical and emotional well-being, and cultivate a greater sense of connection with themselves and others. By recognizing that self-care is integral to managing chronic conditions, individuals can navigate their health journey with resilience and hope, embracing each day with a commitment to their overall well-being.

Originally published on the Mighty: April 18, 2021

I’ve been “different” since the day I was born. I actually am not a fan of saying that. I would rather not focus on what I didn’t have growing up due to being raised in what I, and many other survivors, feel was an isolated religious cult. I didn’t go to school with other children (except one year in a religious school run by a “sister church” in my faith community). I didn’t have prom or boyfriends. I couldn’t wear jeans or celebrate Halloween. I never went to the beach like most people do during summer. I wore my first bikini at 27 years old.

• What is Fibromyalgia?
• What Are Common Fibromyalgia Symptoms?

So, you get the point, I grew up kind of odd. I also was that kid who “complained” a lot and that made me feel very much like an anomaly among my peers. I always didn’t feel well, was tired or couldn’t play as much as other kids my age. I battled migraines, fatigue, digestion issues and so much more. The pain started showing up in my teen years, but only occasionally, and the flares (what I now know them to have been) would go away quicker. By my early 20s, the pain was there pretty much constantly. By 25 on, it was present in one form or another nearly every day.

Now, I’m closer to 30 and trying to make up for all the things I missed. A cult stole my childhood, chronic illness controls my adulthood.

And it really does.

I currently can’t work. I have to depend on someone for one thing or another. I have limitations I never dreamt of.

I was just recently asked by a physical therapist on my care team if somehow it was “easier” to get my diagnosis of fibromyalgia during my teens instead of adulthood, that maybe it made my pain tolerance higher and my outlook different? This person asked this after noting I had a different outlook than a lot of other people he worked with, that my attitude about my illness was “pretty incredible.”

I was honestly perplexed, because I wasn’t sure what vibe I was putting off. I mean, my workouts in physical therapy are times each week where I concentrate solely on me. I lock my phone up in my locker and try to not to worry about everyone who may “need” me. For one hour, I fight my illness head-on with no distractions. That gives me momentum toward my determination.

Back in that moment, though, I am weighing my response, telling myself there are some things you just don’t share (like my upbringing, I’m not new to this rodeo, after all). So, I simply say, “I mean, I try to have a positive outlook about it as often as I can. I can’t change my diagnosis, so positivity goes further than negativity.”

I pause, setting my jaw a bit tight for a moment and go on. “In some ways, I do think getting this diagnosis now would have been harder. To imagine having my whole life going great and this derails it? I can’t imagine that. On the other hand, I didn’t know I was sick when I was young. I just felt terrible all the time and weird. Everyone would just say, ‘That didn’t hurt,’ when it, in fact, really did hurt. I thought something was wrong with me. I just didn’t know I was sick. Because of that, it’s gotten in the way of me getting on my feet. But yeah, I think it would be worse to lose everything.”

That question preluded a ton of difficult emotions. Emotions and feelings that can still sneak up and catch me out of the blue, causing me to feel suddenly depressed.

I don’t really have the words to put how much I struggle not having the life I thought I could have. How upsetting it is my illness flared so badly right as I was getting on my feet. Or, how I once was controlled by a cult, but now chronic illness gets the honors. That trauma caused this sickness in me.

I don’t think it’s fair anyone goes through this. I don’t think it’s awesome the majority of people I socialize with are medical staff or patients in waiting rooms. That I can’t physically handle being fully able to support myself. That my circumstances cause my pride to take a serious hit.

My body doesn’t look sick to most people. My pain isn’t visible unless you know me very well and can see my struggles. And yet, I am sick and feel it every day. I almost feel having fibromyalgia for so long and so young translated into my ability to mask what I’m actually feeling. I grew up with people saying I wanted attention whenever I was feeling particularly poorly and nothing could be further from the truth. Their “attention” only made my symptoms worse. I wanted to hide. I wanted to feel better, and if I couldn’t, I wanted the privacy I needed to battle it in my own way.

Now, hiding my symptoms is done unconsciously on my part. It’s normal for me to inwardly be overwhelmed at all the information my body is giving me at once, to feel pain in so many different areas, it’s hard to say where it is. I keep it inside or grimace or groan quietly while doing a task, but it’s often barely noticeable.

In spite of that, though, it does exist. My pain is real. I have invisible illnesses that try to pummel me each and every day. I feel like we fight each other often. I fight back with things like physical therapy, giving it all I got as I hurl a punch in chronic illness’ direction. I celebrate when I know I did a good job and feel less fatigued or a bit less pain in the days afterward. But, I’m not the only one in this ring and chronic illness still gets to make its shot count. I celebrate maybe too much and do too many tasks to make up for what I’ve been missing, and the next thing I know, I’m down for the count. I win a round, chronic illness wins one. It’s back and forth, on and on. A day-to-day fight.

That day-to-day fight is what I’ve known for so long. Even when I didn’t have a diagnosis, even when my illness wasn’t validated — this fight is what I know, and yet don’t know, at the same time. I feel I balance being logical and emotional about my reality of being sick as best as I can. If that appears as positive to others, then I’ll take it. What I do know is I fight for me.

I fight for me. My future. My relationships and the people I love and love me in return. I keep moving in spite of the pain and rest within the pain. I’m learning how to be sick, but most of all how to be healthy in spite of that sickness. I couldn’t tell you what would have been easier. I can’t say there’s anything “easy” about being sick. What I know is it takes tough people to live the chronically ill life every, single day.

Lydia Joy Launderville 

Lydia is a writer based in Virginia. She is a twin, sister, aunty, and a chronic pain and illness fighter, along with a supporter of loved ones with rare diseases that need more awareness. Her hobbies include traveling, being outdoors and lost in nature, collecting books she is determined to fully read one day, volunteering for causes dear to heart, and spending time being entertained by her rescue cat who never ceases to make her chuckle.

lydiajoyl

I used to be a workaholic. I still am, to some extent, Not as bad as I was. I worked on weekends, all hours of the night (even on holidays for years), and sometimes I used to work when I was supposed to be hanging out with my friends. Ask anyone who knows me, and they would agree that rest was never something I found necessary or beneficial. I felt like I had to earn rest before actually doing it. Growing up, if my siblings and I slept in on weekends or were resting, my Dad would tell us to get up, saying we slept the day away. We have all had to justify rest because if we are sick, then it is acceptable.

Still, we are seen as lazy and unproductive if we actually rest, even though it is productive because it’s a form of self-care. The fact that people don’t see rest as something important and necessary is a problem. And something we need to address. 

Stress can lead to severe burnout.

What is burnout? Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet demands.

This leaves you in a continual cycle that is hard to escape. It requires us to redefine and reframe what rest could and should be and understand that it’s necessary, not a luxury. We must stop feeling guilty because we aren’t doing anything wrong.

We live in a society that glamorizes work and hustle culture more than we prioritize resting. But if we actually reframed our thinking, we would be better overall. Not only would we feel more well-rested, but we would also find ourselves in a better mindset. We could also see added benefits in our professional lives.

So, rest how you want. It’s important. A proper work-life balance can benefit our overall lives, mood, and temperament. For some, that’s watching TV in bed all day. For others, that’s getting a massage or baking a family recipe. Plus, prioritizing rest can be an amazing example for other generations. 

If you’ve ever felt this way, I’m sorry. Resting never was nor never should be something we don’t do or view as unnecessary. Don’t let how others think to influence your own opinion. Remember that you are worthy of good things, and relaxation is one of them.

Previously Published on Unwritten, June 7, 2023

Typically, I’m a very upbeat, bubbly person who tries to be optimistic. While I usually am, the past three years have been tough for me. A global pandemic, the death of my brother, the separation of my parents, and everything in between contributed to my mental and emotional health. All of these emotions changed me as a person. Things got bad for me because of everything going on. Multiple times a week, I would call a close friend and cry on the phone with them.

At a doctor’s appointment, my doctor asked me what was happening, and I told her everything. She asked if I would like to speak to someone. I said yes. Soon enough, I started therapy and taking medication shortly after that. I also started meditating and continuing to journal, which I had started a few years earlier. I also joined a sibling grief support group to help process my grief.

So how am I doing now?

I’m doing well, and my friends are proud of my progress. I’m proud of myself for all the work I have done. I am now off of meds and completed a year of therapy. I’m still journaling, meditating, and attending the support group. 

However, some people don’t think I am doing well. They say I often look sad or on the brink of tears. My mom has said she finds that very disconcerting. Yet, I know I’m still adjusting. And I’m trying to understand my emotions while figuring out my new life with all of the changes that have happened to me and my life over the past couple of years.

In society, we are expected to get over the things we went through and return to how we were before. But the reality is there is no cookie-cutter timeline for how we should deal with emotions and adjust to our new lives. We also have to come to a place of acceptance with our new normal.

We shouldn’t consider ourselves or anyone else to see us as something that is broken that needs fixing. 

Instead, we should be encouraging and supportive of both ourselves and others. We are just processing our trauma the best we can and figuring out who we are now. This requires patience, compassion, and understanding. We need to be met where we are now, even if it’s uncomfortable and hard to relate to. 

If this is something you have a hard time seeing or relating to, ask questions to understand yourself and others better. Ask point blank: “What can I do to support you? Or what do you need?” It can go a long way. Don’t we all deserve that? If everyone took this approach when a friend or family member is going through a huge life adjustment, it would lead to a more understanding and compassionate perspective. It could help make the world a better place.

Love us the way we are. And if and when we need to go back to therapy or need to go back on meds, remember that it’s OK. Let us go through whatever it is that we didn’t expect; it just happened. Let us be, and don’t try to fix something that you see is broken because it’s not. It is just different.

Previously published on Unwritten at this link: I Don’t Need To Be Fixed; I Just Need To Be Accepted (readunwritten.com)

Hi everyone My name is Larissa I am a person with a disability I have CP an am an amputee but I don’t let any of that define me and what I am able to do an accomplish due to my disability I’m a writer activist of many things and All and all Just a lover of life.

larissa-martin

Gardening can be a great way to spend time outdoors and get some exercise. But for those with chronic illnesses, it’s important for you to take certain precautions and prepare properly so that you don’t struggle with more pain and fatigue.

I just love the warmer weather. My chives are poking up from the ground, as are my asparagus.  It’s such a hopeful and fun time of year. However, I know if I don’t take certain precautions, this season can be mired with pain, fatigue, and sleepless nights. 

Here are some tricks to help you to consciously get ready for the gardening season. In this way, you will not only survive it, but enjoy it, and thrive:

Start slow

If you’re not used to physical activity, start slowly and gradually increase the amount of time you spend gardening.

Plan ahead

Decide what you want to plant, and where you want to plant it ahead of time. This can help you avoid unnecessary bending or lifting.

Choose the right tools

Use tools that are easy to grip and lightweight to avoid putting unnecessary strain on your joints and muscles.

Take frequent breaks

Take frequent breaks to rest and stretch your muscles. Avoid overexerting yourself because this results in more pain later.

Wear appropriate clothing

Wear comfortable, breathable clothing and sturdy, supportive shoes. This makes all the difference in your gardening experience. Wear a hat, sunglasses, and sunscreen to protect yourself from the sun’s harmful rays.

Stay hydrated

Drink plenty of water to stay hydrated while gardening. Drinking plenty of water is essential for everyone, but especially for those with chronic illness who may be on medications that cause dehydration. Keep a water bottle nearby and take breaks to stay hydrated.

Consider using raised beds

Raised garden beds can be easier on your back and joints, making gardening more comfortable.

Ask for help

If you need help with heavy lifting or other tasks, ask a friend or family member for help. This can be hard to do at first. But it can help you feel better and not risk hurting yourself.

Pace yourself

It’s important to avoid overexertion when gardening with a chronic illness. Take frequent breaks and don’t push yourself beyond your limits. Sit down and enjoy the view or just take the load off your knees and ankles for a few minutes.

Choose ergonomic tools

Look for gardening tools that are designed with ergonomics in mind, such as those with soft grip handles and adjustable lengths. This will help take the load of your fingers, hands, wrists and even shoulders.

Use adaptive techniques

Many times, we want to garden like we used to when we were young. However, this can cause a lot of undue pain, fatigue, and stiffness. If bending or kneeling is painful, try using raised garden beds, containers or vertical gardens. Gardening stools and knee pads can also help alleviate discomfort.

Consider the weather

Extreme temperatures and high humidity can exacerbate symptoms of chronic illness. Try gardening during cooler parts of the day, such as early morning or late evening, and wear loose, lightweight clothing to help stay cool.

Focus on low maintenance plants

Choose plants that don’t require a lot of upkeep. You may want to buy plants that are pre-grown for you instead of starting yourself from scratch. This can help reduce stress and make gardening more enjoyable.

Get creative

Many of us live in apartments or in townhouses where we don’t have a lot of space to grow. There are many ways to enjoy gardening, even if you have limited mobility or space. Consider planting herbs in pots or creating a windowsill garden. Choose to grow only veggies and herbs that you would love to eat.

Don’t forget to enjoy the process

Gardening can be a therapeutic activity that provides a sense of accomplishment and enjoyment. Take time to appreciate the beauty of your garden and the benefits it brings to your health and well-being.

By taking these steps, you can enjoy the gardening season and ensure that it won’t consume you.  You deserve to enjoy the season. Try some of the tips above to alleviate some of the pain, fatigue, injury, and stiffness that can result from gardening.

Enjoy the growing season. Everyone one of them is different. With our sudden warm spell, we should be able to get a bit of a head start to the growing season.

Irene Roth

Published first in The Stratford Crier

It’s important to note that savoring life is a practice that requires effort and intentionality. It may take time to shift your mindset and habits from focusing on what’s wrong or lacking to appreciating and enjoying what you do have. However, with practice and perseverance, savoring life can become a habit that brings greater joy and fulfillment to your life.

For individuals with chronic illnesses, it can be challenging to shift from striving to savoring. Here are some tips that can help:

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness can help individuals focus on the present moment, which can be particularly helpful when dealing with chronic illness. Mindfulness can help individuals appreciate the small things in life and find joy in the present moment.

Set realistic expectations

It’s important for individuals with chronic illnesses to set realistic expectations for themselves. This can help prevent disappointment and frustration, which can lead to a focus on striving rather than savoring.

Practice gratitude

Practicing gratitude can help individuals focus on what they do have, rather than what they don’t. This can be particularly helpful for individuals with chronic illnesses who may feel like they are missing out on things that others can do.

Build a support system

Having a support system can be crucial for individuals with chronic illnesses. Having people around who understand and support them can help them focus on savoring life rather than constantly striving.

Find joy in the small things

Finding joy in the small things in life can be an effective way to savor life. This could be spending time with loved ones, listening to music, or simply enjoying a favorite food or drink.

Engage in activities you enjoy

Engaging in activities that bring you joy, and fulfillment can help you savor life. This could be a hobby, a creative pursuit, or even a simple activity like taking a walk in nature.

Practice self-compassion

Chronic illness can be challenging, and it’s important to be kind to yourself. Practicing self-compassion can help you be more patient and understanding with yourself, which can in turn help you focus on savoring life rather than constantly striving.

Take care of your physical and mental health

Taking care of your physical and mental health is crucial when it comes to savoring life with a chronic illness. This could involve seeking medical treatment, practicing good self-care, and seeking professional support if needed.

Focus on relationships

Building and maintaining positive relationships with loved ones can be a great source of joy and support when dealing with a chronic illness. Focusing on these relationships can help you savor life despite the challenges you may face.

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries can help you avoid overexerting yourself and becoming overwhelmed, which can make it difficult to savor life. This could involve saying no to certain commitments or prioritizing your needs and well-being.

Focus on the present moment

It can be easy to get caught up in worries about the future or regrets about the past when dealing with a chronic illness. Focusing on the present moment and being mindful can help you appreciate what you have right now.

Practice acceptance

Accepting your illness and its limitations can be a key step in savoring life. This doesn’t mean giving up on improving your health or seeking treatment, but rather accepting that there may be things you cannot do or control.

Keep a gratitude journal

Keeping a journal where you write down things you are grateful for each day can help you focus on the positive aspects of life. This can be particularly helpful on tough days when it may be harder to savor life.

Find a sense of purpose

Having a sense of purpose can help you find meaning and fulfillment despite the challenges of chronic illness. This could involve volunteering, pursuing a passion, or even just finding ways to help others in your community.

Connect with others who have similar experiences

Connecting with others who have similar experiences can be a great source of support and understanding. This could involve joining a support group or online community for people with your particular chronic illness.

Remember, savoring life is a process, and it may take time to shift your mindset from one of striving to one of savoring. Be patient and kind to yourself and seek support and resources when needed.

Further, savoring life is not about ignoring the challenges of chronic illness or pretending they don’t exist. It’s about finding joy and meaning despite those challenges and focusing on what you can do rather than what you can’t.

Overall, it’s important for individuals with chronic illnesses to remember that savoring life is a journey, and it takes time and effort to shift from a mindset of striving to one of savoring. However, with practice and the right support, it is possible to find joy and fulfillment in life despite chronic illness.

Irene Roth