If you live with chronic pian or fatigue, you know the importance of pacing. Yet, it’s so hard to bring about in our daily lives. It’s easier to carry on until we’re exhausted because that’s what we’re used to. If we appropriate this kind of mentality, we will be constantly overdoing it. We may feel like we’re stuck in a vortex of our own making, which is making us sicker and feeling less resilient by the day. This cycle can be frustrating and it can also grate on our self-esteem.
Before we go into a tirade of self-criticism, let’s realize that learning how to pace ourselves is a skill that’s hard to learn. It’s a continual work-in-progress. In other words, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t live up to your pre-established pacing strategies once in a while. Just don’t give up. Set small goals and keep on going.
Here are three more ways to pace yourself.
*1. Delegate
If possible, allow others to help you. Let your kids or spouse help out, even if they don’t wash dishes or fold clothes like you do. Remember, you don’t have to do everything yourself. Asking for help can free up your time and conserve energy.
*2. Don’t overdo it
It’s okay if you don’t get everything done every day that you want. This one is difficult for me. Once I start cleaning my home, I want to get everything done on one floor. Then I’m exhausted, sore and stressed out.
We all need to divide up our tasks into a few sessions, with breaks in between. Telling that we have to get everything done in one day frazzles us because we’ll put way too much pressure on ourselves. Maybe we should accept that we won’t get everything done. Remember, you’re not a failure if you don’t get everything done on your to-do list. This is where flexibility comes in. There’s always tomorrow.
*3. Take breaks
Self-care isn’t selfish but vital for our health and well-being. Taking breaks is part of self-care. This can help your physical and mental health.
Part of pacing is building in regular rest breaks, be it ten minutes every few hours or ever hour. It’s completely up to you. Pace yourself according to your needs. Be extra kind to yourself on hard days by taking extra time off.
You can do many different things on your break: crochet, journal, lie down, color, take a nap, cuddle with your pet, and much more. You can choose what puts a smile on your face.
Pacing breaks can give you mental clarity, clam, physical rest, inspiration, or even motivation. They may be relaxing breaks, productive breaks, or enjoyable ones. You get to choose.
By pacing yourself, you can live a much more resilient and confident life because you’ll know that you’re managing your life in a way that won’t make you feel more pain and fatigue.
So, take a break regularly. Breathe, relax, and then carry on. You deserve it.
As a person with multiple physical disabilities, I have a complex relationship with my body — and I always have. I’m a full-time wheelchair user, so I often rely on others to help me with my basic needs, which often include transfers.
The thing is, people who need help with transferring often face pressure to be as lightweight as possible so that others can easily help them, and that can cause body image issues.
When I started puberty, my parents sat me down for “the talk,” but it wasn’t the same “talk” that my able-bodied peers received. Instead of telling me how babies were made, my parents lectured me on eating junk food.
They would explain that they were worried about me and that my aides needed to be able to lift me, so I needed to watch what I ate.
This was the beginning of a long cycle where I would agree to eat healthily for a little while but continue to eat whatever I wanted. Sure, I’d eat healthy food and stop getting seconds for a couple of days, but then, I went right back to how I always ate. I even tried some workouts, but they never lasted long.
I hoped that agreeing with my parents would stop them from having this conversation with me in the first place, but because I wanted to choose what I ate and absolutely loved junk food, the cycle would repeat itself.
My mom and I even went on diets together, and I hated dieting because I thought that going on a diet meant that something was “wrong” with me.
Dieting made me put a lot of focus on how my body looked.
When I dieted, I regularly asked my friends what they thought about my body, and they all acted like I didn’t need to diet. This made me feel relieved, but I knew that a lot of people wouldn’t understand that the pressure I faced to diet was because of my mobility.
My relationship with food, my body, and my disability is complex.
If I eat too much, I gain weight, and then it’s hard for aides to lift me. If I don’t eat enough, I don’t get the energy and nutrients that my body needs. In my eyes, it’s a lose-lose situation.
Now, it’s not just my parents commenting on my weight. The aides who help me with day-to-day activities often tell me that they feel like I’m getting heavier. I understand that they need to be able to lift me, but their comments on my body can feel really uncomfortable. These conversations used to make me justify looking at nutrition labels and choosing certain foods over others more often than I should have been.
The good news is that now, my relationship with food and my body is a lot better than it’s been in years.
By my own choice, I eat a vegetarian diet, but I also eat my favorite snacks with little to no guilt. I also regularly meet with a nutritionist because I have blood pressure issues, and I’m trying to use my current food choices to get my blood pressure under control.
In the past, when I heard comments about my weight and my parents encouraged me to diet, I thought that something was “wrong” with me. However, I eventually realized that all these comments on my body stemmed from other people’s need to make my body “convenient” for them. With the support of my friends, I now know that just because I have a disability doesn’t mean that I have to make my body “convenient” for others. Whether you’re disabled and struggle with the same issues I did or you’re able-bodied and constantly wish you had a different body, your body is perfect the way it is. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
Hi everyone My name is Larissa I am a person with a disability I have CP an am an amputee but I don’t let any of that define me and what I am able to do an accomplish due to my disability I’m a writer activist of many things and All and all Just a lover of life. To learn more about Larissa, please follow here blog at this link: larissa-martin
When you live with chronic illness, friendships can be a blessing and a curse. Friends have buoyed my spirits in the darkest of times. But not every friend understands the reality of living with chronic illness.
Life with chronic illness is unpredictable. I live with chronic migraines and nerve pain. I never know when I’m going to have a flare. I can’t predict good days and bad days. I can do everything “right”—get to bed on time, get good sleep, exercise, eat whole foods—and still wake up incapacitated.
Planning can be an exercise in disappointment. If I buy concert tickets for a date six months from now, there’s a 50/50 chance I’ll be stuck home in bed. My migraines don’t care if it’s a friend’s birthday party or a baby shower or any other important or fun event.
If I ignore the pain and neurological symptoms and go out anyway, the next day will inevitably be even worse. “Pushing through” can easily double, triple, or even quadruple the length and severity of flares for me. Even if I’m not in pain at the start, the simple act of going out for an extended activity can leave me exhausted and in pain for days.
But during the forced isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic, I realized there was more than one way to be a good friend.
In fact, I nurtured and built some of my valuable friendships without ever leaving my little apartment.
Messaging is for more than just making plans.
At the start of the pandemic lockdowns, it seemed like everyone got on Zoom. From happy hours to casual hangouts, people hopped on Zoom for a bit of human connection. I’m not a big fan of large group Zoom calls. Looking at a screen can be hard when I have a migraine and can even reignite a migraine that is on its way out.
For me, text messaging (using text, WhatsApp, Viber, etc.) is the easiest way to reach out to friends when I need support—and to provide support to friends who need it. Texting doesn’t require looking at a screen for long. Plus, you can send personal voice or video messages.
Unlike sitting in a coffee shop, I can reply when I am able. I don’t have to “perform” wellness.
On messaging apps, I can be funny or kind or silly or frustrated. My friends can complain about an extra bad day, and I can offer comfort and compassion. I can be the kind of friend who is steadfast and reliable, a friend who shows up—even if I’m stuck in bed.
Cultivating global friendships.
The collective move to “virtual” friendships during the early days of the pandemic also inspired me to connect with old friends who had moved away and make new friends in far-flung places.
One friend I’d lost touch with had moved to New Zealand. Pre-pandemic, it seemed like an impossible distance to stay in touch. But somehow, we started chatting online while we were both shut up in our apartments. Today, some three years later, we often message each other daily! We help each other sort through priorities and set goals and create accountability. All via text and voice messaging.
I also met people through online communities and cultivated new friendships. For example, I took a course about writing articles for children run by Irene Roth. With Irene’s support, I started writing about life with chronic illness for the first time. Inspired, I joined Irene’s online writing group and mentorship program. As Irene shared her own experiences with chronic illness, we started to grow a friendship that has been an incredible source of inspiration. And we still have not met in person!
Creating focused and supportive communities.
One of the most amazing things that happened during the pandemic was that I connected with a group of writers online. At first, there were a couple dozen people in the group. But pretty quickly we winnowed down to a core set of 4-6 really active people. For two years, four of us met every Saturday and Sunday morning to talk about writing and to do writing sprints.
One of the coolest parts: none of us lived in the same time zone. We were in NYC, Tennessee, Arizona, Brazil, and Canada! Since I moved to a new time zone, it’s been hard to join every single week, though I hope to get our sessions back on my regular schedule soon.
When I was starting my consulting business, one of my writing group friends was also rethinking her career at the same time. We became business buddies, checking in weekly about what we’re trying and learning in our new careers. The best part? She’s in Brazil and I’m now in Italy and our connection is still going strong!
Feeling empowered to say no.
With chronic illness, there is always a price. When I wasn’t able to “go out with friends” for months on end, I realized just how hard going out actually is on my body. And I’m not talking about drinking. I gave up alcohol more than 15 years ago because it triggers instant migraines.
Even seemingly simple things like sitting in a restaurant or chatting after a literary reading or even having fun game night at a friend’s house—they all take their toll. For many years, I’d ignored that toll because I thought it was the price of having friendships.
As we emerged from the acute phase of the pandemic, for the first time in my life, I started to say no to social invites. Instead, I suggested other activities that were better for my body, like a phone call or an afternoon walk in the park.
Sure, with all these changes, a few of my more casual friendships fell away. But the ones that endured were the ones that mattered.
It’s so easy to fall into thinking that friendship and community only happen when we’re sitting in a room together or going to some event. But that’s not the case anymore—which is a blessing for many of us with chronic illness.
Camellia Phillips has loved writing since first grade, back in the days of graphite-stained fingers. Since then, her short fiction for children and adults has appeared in The Caterpillar, CALYX Journal, and cream city review, and her nonfiction has appeared in The Mighty, Spoonie Journal, The Chopping Blog, and La Dolce Vita Lifestyle Magazine. Her middle grade manuscript, Rat, Jack, and the Impossible Job, won Scribbler’s first-ever Manuscript Contest in 2022 and the Pacific Northwest Writers Association Literary Contest in 2021. She holds an MFA in creative writing from The New School. In 2019, she was selected as a 92Y Women inPower Fellow, a program for rising women leaders in New York City, but today she lives in a small village in Sicily with her author spouse. Camellia blogs about the reality of living and working with chronic illness—and having awesome adventures in the process—over at www.camelliawrites.com and www.ahouseinsicily.com.
Do you find that you want to do it all and be everything to everyone? If you do, you know it comes at a high cost to you as a chronically ill individual. It’s easy to lose sight of yourself in the process. Perhaps somewhere down the line, you may have been led to believe that taking care of yourself is selfish. However, this isn’t the case. In fact, for a chronically ill person, self-care is a lifeline to health and well-being.
But on an even more basic level, there is a firm line between self-care and being selfish. Being selfish implies that the world revolves around you, while self-care acknowledges that the world includes you and your needs. You are a very important part of your world. It means giving yourself the attention, compassion, time, and energy that you need and deserve.
Here are five ways to take care of yourself.
*1. Slow down
There never seems to be enough time to do everything you want or need to do. Yet, rushing through your daily activities often robs you of the experiences you are living through. There is so much in our live to experience such as this cup of hot coffee, this fresh maple glazed donut, or this warm lavender bubble bath. Slowing down can help you experience all of these things deeply. Further, slowing down can help you gain less weight, maintain lower blood pressure, and experience less anxiety.
*2. Make yourself a priority
We often schedule a massage or manicure after everything else is in place and done. This may mean that by the time we get to our massage or manicure appointment, we’re so tired we can’t enjoy it as much. We may fall asleep on the massage table or not even appreciate the pretty shade of red that our manicurist put on our nails. Therefore, it may be better to schedule these activities at times of days when we’re not exhausted and we can enjoy them. This may mean that we shouldn’t try to do too much before or after these wonderful events.
*3. Don’t skimp on sleep
Sleep helps all aspects of our health and well-being, especially the molecular, energy balance as well as intellectual function, alertness, and mood. So, we should strive to get 7 or 8 hours of good quality of sleep. This may be difficult for a chronically ill person to achieve. However, working with a holistic nutritionist can be the answer to your issues. She can help you come up with a supplement plan that will take your sleep from mediocre, at best, to good.
*4. Threat yourself
Buy yourself nice little gifts. We all treat our friends to nice things. Why not do the same for us? Perhaps get yourself a nice bouquet of flowers, or a new cell phone case. This can boost your morale and serve as a reminder that you’re worthy.
*5. Discover your authentic self
It’s easy for us to create identities around our rules and other people. But who are we when our roles are stripped? Explore your identity and values in order to nurture the best version of yourself. Then do things that are in line and celebrate who you are. This can help you feel more in tune with who you truly are.
By taking these steps, you will be prioritizing your self care. But what’s more, you will be living a better quality of life.
Being overextended, over-scheduled, and exhausted means you have to push back all the things you know are good for you and put them on a back burner. That shows a complete lack of self-respect.
So why not start by making yourself a priority? Why not make your self-care a priority? This can really be time to celebrate who you are in between bouts of chronic illness.
You deserve self-respect. Make yourself a priority today and take care of yourself.
Irene Roth
Irene Roth is a freelance writer who has a passion for helping the chronically ill. Having struggled with four different chronic illnesses for over 20 years has taught her a lot of valuable lessons. Her writing showcases tips and tricks of how to not only live but thrive with chronic illness. She has published over 130 e-books and over 1,500 articles for the chronically ill on how to cope with their pain and fatigue. For more information and tips, please visit her website at: https://livingwellwitharthritis.wordpress.com/
As daylight-saving time ends and the chill of winter approaches, it becomes essential to pay extra attention to our sleep routines and overall sleep hygiene. Quality sleep is a cornerstone of a chronically-ill person’s physical and mental well-being. The changing seasons can really wreck havoc with our circadian rhythms.
Ensuring we cultivate healthy sleep routines can ensure we don’t get sick with any respiratory infections. This is especially the case for the chronically ill because we have low immune function.
To get a good night’s sleep, we must set some healthy habits and routines. Here are a few factors to consider.
Create Your Ideal Sleep Environment
The environment in which you sleep plays a vital role in the quality of your sleep. To make the most of your sleep space, maintain a cool and comfortable room temperature, usually between 60-67°F. This range is conducive to better sleep.
With daylight hours diminishing, invest in blackout curtains to keep your sleeping area as dark as possible. This will help regulate your circadian rhythm and improve sleep quality. Reduce noise disturbances by using white noise machines or earplugs if necessary. These can help drown out background sounds that might otherwise disrupt your sleep.
Ensure Your Mattress and Pillows are Comfortable
Ensure your mattress and pillows are in good condition and provide the support and comfort you need for a restful night’s sleep. It’s a good idea to buy new pillows every year or two. Also, you may want to flip your mattress every season to ensure it maintains its shape.
Create a Consistent Sleep Schedule
Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule is crucial for a healthy sleep routine. Even with shorter daylight hours, try to go to bed and wake up at the same times every day. Your body’s internal clock, known as the circadian rhythm, thrives on consistency and can help regulate your sleep patterns.
Limit Screen Time
The blue light emitted by smartphones, tablets, and computers can interfere with your body’s production of melatonin. This hormone has been known to regulate sleep. Therefore, to improve sleep quality, avoid screens for at least an hour before bedtime. Instead, consider relaxing activities such as, reading a book or taking a warm bath.
Make Lunch Your Largest Meal
Diet plays a significant role in sleep hygiene. Avoid heavy meals, caffeine, and alcohol close to bedtime, as they can disrupt your sleep. Aim for a light, balanced dinner, and limit your fluid intake in the hours leading up to sleep to prevent nighttime awakenings to use the restroom.
Establish a Relaxing Bedtime Routine
This will help remind your body that it’s time to wind down for the night. This can include activities like gentle stretching, meditation, or deep breathing exercises. Try incorporating one or two of these relaxation techniques into your routine. This will help you transition from wakefulness to sleep.
Engage in Regular Exercise
Regular physical activity can improve sleep quality, but it’s important to time your workouts wisely. Try to finish exercising at least a few hours before bedtime to avoid the stimulating effects of physical exertion, which could hinder sleep.
Manage Stress
Stress and anxiety can have a profound impact on your ability to sleep well. As daylight hours decrease, it’s essential to incorporate stress management techniques into your daily routine. These may include mindfulness meditation, journaling, or seeking professional help when necessary.
Limit Naps
While short power naps can rejuvenate, long or irregular daytime naps can disrupt your nighttime sleep. If you feel the need for a nap, keep it brief and aim for a duration of no more than 20-30 minutes.
Avoid Looking at the Time During the Night
Constantly checking the clock can increase anxiety and make it harder to fall asleep. If you can’t sleep, try to remain calm and avoid looking at the clock. It’s better to get up and engage in a relaxing activity until you feel drowsy.
Sleep hygiene is vital for ensuring a restful and rejuvenating night’s sleep, especially as daylight hours decrease. By implementing the practices and habits outlined above, you can improve your sleep quality and establish a healthy sleep routine that will help you navigate the challenges of the winter season.
Prioritizing sleep hygiene is a good investment in our physical and mental well-being as chronically ill individuals. It can also help us make the most of the precious hours of rest during the long winter nights.
Most of us don’t sleep well anyways because of pain and fatigue. Therefore, setting a healthy sleep routine can really help us sleep more and wake up refreshed which is key to having a good day.
So as winter starts, may we take some time to turn inward and to start some healthy habits that will help us move into winter more healthy, happy, and fulfilled.
First published in The Stratford Crier on December 2023.
The dawn of a new year often marks a time of reflection and resolutions for many. For those grappling with chronic illnesses, this symbolic fresh start can be an opportunity to reevaluate and enhance our approach to health and well-being.
While managing chronic conditions can be challenging, cultivating healthy habits is crucial for improving overall quality of life. Every new year offers us a new opportunity to live a better quality of life.
We may have to make a few tweaks. But it is possible to do so.
In this article, I will explore some practical and empowering strategies for individuals facing chronic illnesses to embark on a journey toward better health in the coming year.
Eat Healthy Foods Mindfully
Eating well is a cornerstone of good health, and for those with chronic illnesses, it becomes even more critical. Focusing on a balanced and nutrient-rich diet can help manage symptoms and boost energy levels.
You may want to consider consulting with a nutritionist to create a personalized meal plan tailored to specific health needs. Incorporating a variety of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains can contribute to overall health and well-being. It can even reduce pain and inflammation.
Engage in Regular Exercise
While the prospect of exercise might seem daunting for those dealing with chronic illnesses, incorporating gentle and tailored physical activities can make a significant difference.
You should consult with healthcare professionals to determine some suitable exercises that align with your individual capabilities. Whether it’s a short walk, gentle yoga, or swimming, finding enjoyable and low-impact activities can help improve mobility, reduce pain, and enhance overall physical function.
Prioritize Mental Health
The relationship between chronic illness and mental health is undeniable. The stress and emotional toll of managing a long-term condition can be overwhelming.
This new year, prioritize mental health by exploring stress-reducing activities such as mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, or engage in hobbies that bring you joy. There is so much out there that you can try.
You may also want to reach out for professional mental health support to learn coping strategies and emotional resilience.
Manage Your Medication
Adhering to prescribed medications is fundamental in managing chronic illnesses effectively. Create a routine for medication management, using tools like pill organizers or smartphone reminders.
Also, regular check-ins with healthcare providers can ensure that medications are optimized for the best outcomes. A fresh start in the new year is an excellent time to reassess and fine-tune medication management strategies.
Work on Getting Adequate Sleep
Adequate and restful sleep is crucial for everyone, but it holds particular significance for those with chronic illnesses. Establishing a consistent sleep schedule, creating a comfortable sleep environment, and practicing relaxation techniques before bedtime can contribute to better sleep quality. Improved sleep can positively impact overall health, mood, and the ability to manage symptoms effectively.
Build a Support System
Facing chronic illness can be isolating. But a strong support system can provide invaluable emotional and practical assistance. Surround yourself with understanding friends and family who can offer encouragement and assistance when needed. Joining support groups, either in-person or online, can provide a sense of community and shared experiences, fostering a supportive environment.
Make Sure You Have Regular Health Check-ups
Schedule regular check-ups with healthcare providers to monitor the progress of chronic conditions. These appointments offer an opportunity to discuss any concerns, adjust treatment plans if necessary, and ensure that overall health is being adequately addressed. Open communication with healthcare professionals is key to proactive management of chronic illnesses.
Embrace Technology
There is so much information on the web. Leverage technological advancements to manage health more efficiently. Smartphone apps can help track medications, monitor symptoms, and even provide guidance on nutrition and exercise.
Telehealth services can also offer the convenience of virtual consultations, making healthcare more accessible, especially for those with mobility limitations.
Embarking on a journey toward better health in the new year is a commendable endeavor, especially for individuals dealing with chronic illnesses.
By adopting mindful nutrition, incorporating gentle exercise, prioritizing mental health, managing medications effectively, ensuring quality sleep, building a robust support system, attending regular check-ups, and embracing technology, individuals can lay the foundation for a healthier and more fulfilling life despite the challenges of chronic illness.
Remember, every small step towards well-being is a triumph. The new year is a perfect opportunity for a fresh start on the path to improved health and vitality.
First Published in the Stratford Crier March, 2023.
Many chronically ill individuals identify with their pain. They make statements such as, I am in pain. Or I am experiencing pain. With either of these statements, it would seem that we are closely linked to the pain. Therefore, our identity and who we are also linked to the pain.
It can be hard to separate yourself from your pain since it affects every part of your life and especially your attitude and mindset. It is when you realize that you are so much more than your pain that you can thrive and live a wonderful life. Each one of us can do.
So, how can we do this? Well, here are a few easily achievable tips I’d like to share with you.
First, watch what you tell yourself every day. Many times, what you say to yourself over and over can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, if you keep telling yourself that you will never get better or that you’ll be in a wheelchair, your life will become even harder to manage.
Further, our negative self-talk can affect our attitudes and mood. For instance, if you keep telling yourself that you’re having a bad day, it can impact how your day unfolds. Therefore, it is especially important to become mindful of what we tell ourselves about our chronic illness. If we try to be as positive as we can, this will positively affect our overall health and well-being. But unfortunately, if we keep saying negative things to ourselves, this too can impact how we live our life.
Second, realize that having a chronic condition is not all negative. There are many blessings to slowing down, decluttering unnecessary parts of our lives, and doing some of the things we enjoy every day. Taking the time to figure out what these things are can have a significant impact on your health and well-being.
When we were in our younger years without chronic illness, we probably overdid it a lot of the time. We may have had a difficult time to make time to do the things we enjoy. We even could have had a hard time figuring out what we needed to do to make our life more meaningful. Now we have the rare chance to really honor our needs and wants.
Third, you are so much more than your arthritis or any other chronic condition. You don’t have to identify with it. Remember, you have a chronic condition, it doesn’t have you unless you believe it defines you. This can be a hard statement to understand, so here is a further explanation.
Yes, we have our chronic condition. We will have bad days and good days. But we are still in control of our lives. We can take the time to rest and be. We can enjoy ourselves. And we could live a good life.
So, take stock today and asses how you are feeling about your chronic condition. If you are struggling with a chronic illness, know in every fibre of your being that you can live a good life. Now that spring is around the corner, it can be a great time to take steps towards renewal and replenishment. You have the key to bring this about, my dear friends.
Aging can be hard. And aging with agility and resilience can be even harder. But by tweaking a few of your mindsets and attitudes, you can be well on your way to refocus your life and creating balance in your life so that you can do all the things that you want, despite low energy levels.
You are not your chronic condition or your pain. You are a wonderfully authentic human being with amazing potential, with or without your chronic condition.
I wish you good health and an especially wholesome attitude.
There’s no doubt, living with chronic illness opens up to a lot of physical, psychological and social challenges. Not only do we experience pain and fatigue because of our chronic illness. But other people who aren’t chronically ill may not understand what we’re going through.
This can make it hard for us to cope and have a ‘normal’ life, one that’s imbued with energy and vitality, leading to stress and overwhelm. We can feel unheard and it may feel like we’re all alone in the world because of our chronic illness and low energy that results. It can be hard to function when we see everyone is hurrying past us. Yet, we can hardly get through the day without pain and extreme fatigue.
When we feel less than others, a feeling of isolation and loneliness follows. People deal with loneliness very differently, depending on their personality and character. Some of us hate being alone and avoid it at all costs. Some others can tolerate being alone for a while. Still others set-up times for solitude regularly. And then at the other extreme, there are people who thrive on being alone so that they can replenish and nourish themselves. They are usually homebodies and they love their own company. Such people are in the minority. But still they exist.
Regardless of where we are on this social-aloneness- spectrum, this feeling of isolation and loneliness can be a real problem for the chronically ill. This feeling can cause undue stress and psychological pain. Some of us may even feel that other people don’t want to be around us because we can’t measure up.
This article is for people who either hate being alone, or tolerate it in small amounts. I believe that most people fit into this psychological framework. Therefore, I’ll offer a few tips on how to cope with being alone for those of us who are convinced that being alone is awful.
Here are a few tips to consider:
*1. Realize that being alone isn’t necessarily bad. Our culture always seems to be socializing. In all the commercials on TV, people are usually socializing, eating some kind of takeout food, and smiling ear to ear. If we believe this is how we should also live, we will feel empty and left out because this isn’t the reality for the chronically ill.
Socializing all the time is definitely over-rated. There are people who love socializing and who always are actively engaged with others. Then we become chronically ill and we can’t do as much as many people. This can make us feel less than others.
Further, if you have friends who don’t live with a chronic illness, they probably won’t understand if you have to take the evening off to rest. Eventually, you’ll have to find new friends, ones who understand you or at least are compassionate towards what you are going through.
You may feel alone for a while. And that’s okay. Take some time to journal, or find a few new hobbies. You may want to join an online group of people who are going through what you are. There are quite a few online groups out there.
So, you may have to look at your situation through a self-compassionate lens, not one created by our culture, but one that you create for yourself by accepting where you are, and recreating a life for yourself that’s in line with your new reality.
*2. Honor your new reality. Having a chronic illness can force you to rethink what’s most important. You may have to become countercultural. Many of us believe that if we’re alone, we’re naturally lonely. But this doesn’t necessarily have to be the case. Sometimes we may need to cultivate solitude. It is because it’ll help us feel less stressed.
Some individuals who live with chronic illness, such as fibromyalgia, for example, need pockets of peace and quiet regularly in order to function well. Noise and busyness may actually cause us to feel more frustrated, stressed, and even overwhelmed. Therefore, we may have to cultivate times of peace and quiet on a daily. During such times, try to do quiet things, such as read, meditate, or just do nothing.
Therefore, take the time to listen to what your heart is saying to you. If you need to have a quiet evening at home, sitting by the fireplace, sipping some herbal tea and reading a book, then make sure to make space for that. Or you may want to take a bubble bath and go to bed early. You’ll feel better tomorrow.
*3. Don’t compare yourself to others. Many chronically ill struggle to create a new life for themselves. They feel out of place because we can’t measure up to the societal yardstick of what we ‘should’ be doing and how they ‘should’ be living. Could this be because we’re always comparing ourselves to others?
If we look at how the media is encouraging us to live, it basically makes no sense, not even for healthy people. We are continually tempted to eat food that is filled with fat and sugar, some of which isn’t even real food. Commercials show people sitting in front of large TV screens watching sports, binging on junk food and drinking alcohol for hours on end. This is an unhealthy picture of how we should live.
Fitting in is always a problem for the chronically ill. We want to fit in, regardless of what it costs us. But sometimes the price is high. Before we push ourselves past our limits, we should realize that this attitude won’t help us to feel better. Instead, we’ll feel even more isolated.
Therefore, we must reassess our lifestyle so that it is in line with our chronic illness. For example, we must determine how much time we need to be social and when we need solitude, to do some of the things we really want to do, or just to rest.
We’re not automatons. Just because we’re living with a chronic illness doesn’t mean that we have to be sucked into a negative mire of loneliness. We can create a life that is healthy, sane, and one which will help us live the healthiest and most fulfilling life.
We don’t need to be strong. It’s OK to let the guard down now and then.
I have heard throughout my life how strong I am and what an inspiration I am. I’m flattered by this sentiment, and I greatly appreciate it. But I don’t want to be strong all the time, and guess what? I’m not strong all the time.
I used to feel like I had to be strong for my family. I sometimes still do, especially a few years ago because we went through so much. Over the years, though, I learned that I don’t need to hold myself together constantly. It’s OK for me to let my guard down too.
The moment that I realized that my mindset was starting to change was when my parents were starting the process of separating. It is still happening. We all had so many life stresses, and I could barely keep it together and stay mentally and emotionally strong. I was in one of my best friend’s cars when I started sobbing and saying how broken I felt. Surprisingly, they didn’t tell me that I was strong and that I would be OK. Instead, they told me that they knew how I felt. At that moment, I knew I didn’t have to put on a brave face for my friends.
Even now, I sometimes still feel guilty when I let my guard down and share my emotions so openly. I feel like people expect me to be strong, so I feel like I shouldn’t show them how I really feel. This guilt is complex because we may know that our friends probably won’t judge us for our true feelings, but we don’t want to place too much on their shoulders. But being closed off all the time is tiring, and emotional expression is important. We need to realize that the people who care about us also care about how we feel, and they’ll likely be OK with us being open with them.
Society expects people to hold in their emotions and be strong constantly, but we can slowly change this. Give yourself permission to express how you feel, and give your friends space to be emotional and let them let their guard down when they need to. Remind yourself that your emotions are valid and saying them is healthy.
Tell yourself that your true friends care how you’re really doing and want to help you in any way they can, even if that means listening to you vent for a bit.
If you struggle with the need to hide your emotions and let your wall down in front of others, remember how much strength it takes to share how you feel. You’re just as strong when you open up to others as you always were. Letting your guard down can be a good thing, and others may think you’re stronger when you let them into your world. Your true friends won’t think less of you for expressing your emotions either. They’ll see you as a badass because that’s exactly who you are, no matter what you do. Or how strong you may or may not be feeling.
Hi everyone My name is Larissa I am a person with a disability I have CP an am an amputee but I don’t let any of that define me and what I am able to do an accomplish due to my disability I’m a writer activist of many things and All and all Just a lover of life. To learn more about Larissa, please follow here blog at this link: larissa-martin
Let’s face it, living with a chronic illness is hard. There are days when you won’t feel like doing much because you won’t even feel like getting out of bed. Regardless of uphill battle, a better life awaits if we pace ourselves and redefine our priorities in light of living with a chronic illness.
As you change your mindset, you’ll have to proactively deal with the physical and mental symptoms of your chronic illness. This requires that you work on developing a positive mindset when you’re tired and stressed. When you get to this stage, you have come full circle from your diagnosis to acceptance. You will also be ready to take advice from doctors, physiotherapists, and counsellors about how to realign your life with your new reality.
Notice I said you should try to realign your life with your new reality of living with a chronic illness. This means that you have to rethink how you do some of the things you do in your life and reframe them. This is where changing your mindset comes in. This doesn’t mean that you must cancel your life or put it on hold. But it may mean that you have to re-prioritize things so that you focus on doing the most important ones first.
So, what does it mean to realign your life with your illness?
Here are a few things to consider.
Decide what is truly important to you and pursue only these things. Declutter unimportant things from your life.
Take frequent or regular rest breaks during the day and make them a part of your routine.
Realize you can’t do everything at once nor please everyone. So, take care of yourself first and foremost.
Take the time to come to terms with your illness. This means taking the time to become aware of what it means to live well, despite it.
By taking these steps, you will feel less frustrated and accepting of your new reality. Making peace with it is so important to or health and well-being.
Realize you’re not alone
There are millions of people living with arthritis, or some other chronic condition. Some people may be even younger than you are. This realization can put your situation into perspective.
For fifteen years, I presented workshops for The Arthritis Society on different aspects of managing the symptoms of arthritis and living a healthy life. I met a lot of younger people who were living with arthritis or some other debilitating chronic condition. One of my youngest participants was only 24 years old. She helped me put my own diagnosis at the age of 40 into perspective.
Further, many individuals diagnosed with some type of chronic illness struggle with pain, fatigue, and stiffness upon waking. So, as far as arthritis sufferers are concerned, we mostly experience similar realities. We struggle, have bad days and better days, and have difficulty sleeping. This is all part of living with a chronic condition. When we’re experiencing a lot of pain on a given day, living well can be hard.
But it is in our best interest to do so. Not only will our life be easier, but we won’t feel as overwhelmed and frustrated. And if we stress less, we will probably experience less pain and fatigue. So, it’s a win-win for us.
We just have to create a winning blueprint for our lives, one that doesn’t compare our lives to the way they used to be before the onset of chronic illness. Instead, we must create a life that charts a new path in our lives by honoring and accepting our life as it is now.
Living With Chronic Illness 