Let’s face it, it’s difficult to live with the daily challenges of living with a chronic condition. There are so many things that we cannot control. Yet that is so much the nature of chronic illness. It really is unpredictable.
One of the best ways to deal with the unpredictability of chronic illness is to lower our expectations. This is because when we keep our expectations too high, we set ourselves up for being angry and frustrated at ourselves for being unable to measure up to what we used to do before the onset of our chronic illness.
If you set the bar too high, you will only set yourself up for disappointments in life. Not only that, but you won’t live your best life because you will always be criticizing yourself for not quite living up to your previous measures of success.
One way of lowering our expectations is to recognize that there are many seasons in our lives. There are not only life stages, but there are more seasonal changes in our lives. In other words, our life has many seasons. And having a chronic illness is a unique season in our lives, one in which we will have to cope with doing less on some days when we didn’t get a good night’s sleep or we have a lot of pain.
Here are some strategies that can help individuals with chronic illness to lower their expectations in a healthy and constructive way:
Accept your situation:
The first step is to accept your condition and acknowledge its limitations. Understand that you may not be able to do everything you once could, and that’s okay. This acceptance can help you set more realistic expectations for yourself.
Set Realistic Goals:
Instead of setting lofty or unrealistic goals, focus on achievable ones. Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate your successes along the way. Try not to do everything in one day. This can help you maintain a sense of accomplishment.
Prioritize what you have to do:
Identify your most important values and priorities in life. Allocate your energy and resources to those areas that matter most to you. This may mean letting go of less important commitments. This can all be a part of lowering your bar.
Seek Support:
Don’t hesitate to lean on your support network, whether it’s friends, family, or support groups. They can provide emotional support, practical assistance, and understanding, which can help you cope with your limitations. You may also be able to delegate simple tasks to others so that you can rest or do something for yourself.
Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize self-care to manage your health. This includes taking prescribed medications, following your treatment plan, and managing stress through relaxation techniques like meditation or mindfulness. But more than that, just taking some time to exhale can help you immensely to feel more self-compassionate.
Communicate openly with others:
Open and honest communication with your healthcare providers is crucial. Discuss your goals, limitations, and concerns with them, so they can help you set realistic expectations for your health. This can help you lower your bar when you are setting expectations.
Manage Stress Before it Gets Out of Hand:
Living with chronic illness can be very stressful. Engage in stress-reduction activities like deep breathing, yoga, or hobbies you enjoy. Reducing stress can help you better manage your condition and improve your overall well-being.
Celebrate Small Wins:
Even small accomplishments deserve recognition. Take time to appreciate the progress you make, no matter how minor it may seem. This positive reinforcement can boost your mood and motivation. This can also help you manage your expectations.
Adapt and Be Flexible:
Understand that life with a chronic illness may require adapting to changing circumstances. Be flexible in adjusting your expectations as your health fluctuates.
Embrace Mindfulness:
Practice mindfulness to stay present and appreciate the moment. This can help you let go of worries about the past or future, reducing anxiety and improving your overall quality of life. Being mindful of how you are feeling on a given day can help you manage expectations.
Stay Informed:
Educate yourself about your condition, treatment options, and available resources. Knowledge can empower you to make informed decisions and better manage your health. It can also help you so that you don’t keep raising your bar too high.
Remember that it’s okay to have moments of frustration or sadness when dealing with chronic illness. It’s a journey with ups and downs, but with the right mindset and support, you can learn to adjust your expectations and lead a fulfilling and happier life despite the challenges.
Irene S. Roth
Irene Roth is a freelance writer who loves to explore topics about how to live well with chronic illness. She has written over a hundred books on different aspects of wellness both in print and online. She has written about topics ranging from how to age gracefully to how to manage chronic pain and fatigue in order to live a good quality of life. She lives in Ontario with her husband Jim, cat Toby, and Dog Milo.
Living With Chronic Illness 