Dear Chronic Illness,
I didn’t ask for you. I definitely didn’t want to you to change the entire trajectory of my life. I never dreamt I would manage unbelievable pain every single day, surgeries, medications, treatments, doctors, constant judgements, and the feeling of being a burden. Because of you, I missed normal milestones like graduating college, working, getting married, and having kids. For a long time, you left me angry, bitter, sad, lost, and hopeless for my future. I honestly felt powerless against you.
But here is the twist. You also taught me invaluable lessons and gifted me incredible self-awareness and empathy for others. You showed me what matters in life and what really doesn’t. You showed me how strong I can be and that you truly never know what life has in store. I got my power back when I accepted you as a presence in my life but not who I am. For too long, I let you dictate my identity, the very core of my being. I never noticed how often I repeated the same sentiments over and over again. “I am weak, I am alone and I can’t live this way.” I gave these words power. I gave them validity. This ended up being my truth for decades. Now, I know that I am more than my pain, more than my illness and a stronger and better human because of it. Do I wish I never had you in my life? Of course! Who wants pain and illness?! However, I am grateful you led me on a path of self-discovery, self-acceptance and straight to the best community of people I have ever met; the chronic illness community. You will continue to affect my life for better or worse but I will never let you consume my identity again!
Melissa Adams
Living With Chronic Illness 